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In article <33120.tin.17.5 [at] news.alt.net>, says...

> TUMS spelled backwards is SMUT.

Are you a Tom Lehrer fan? Remember this?

I do have a cause, though, it is obscenity. I'm for it!
(Laughter) Thank you. Unfortunately, the civil liberties types
who are fighting this issue have to fight it, owing to the
nature of the laws, as a matter of freedom of speech and
stifling of free expression and so on. But we know what's really
involved: Dirty books are fun! That's all there is to it. But
you can't get up in a court and say that, I suppose. It's simply
a matter of freedom of pleasure, a right which is not guaranteed
by the Constitution, unfortunately. Anyway, since people seem to
be marching for their causes these days, I have here a march for
mine. It's called:

Smut!
Give me smut and nothing but!
A dirty novel I can't shut
If it's uncut
and unsubt-le.

I've never quibbled
If it was ribald.
I would devour
Where others merely nibbled.
As the judge remarked the day that he acquitted my Aunt Hortense
"To be smut
It must be ut-
Terly without redeeming social importance."

Por-
Nographic pictures I adore.
Indecent magazines galore,
I like them more
If they're hard core.

Bring on the obscene movies, murals, postcards, neckties,
samplers, stained glass windows, tattoos, anything!
More, more, I'm still not satisfied!

Stories of tortures
Used by debauchers
Lurid, licentious and vile,
Make me smile.
Novels that pander
To my taste for candor
Give me a pleasure sublime.
Let's face it I love slime!

Old books can be indecent books,
Though recent books are bolder.
For filth, I'm glad to say,
Is in the mind of the beholder.
When correctly viewed,
Everything is lewd.
I could tell you things about Peter Pan
And the Wizard of Oz - there's a dirty old man!

I thrill
To any book like Fanny Hill,
And I suppose I always will
If it is swill
And really fil-thy.

Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately?
I've got a hobby: rereading Lady Chatterley.
But now they're trying to take it all away from us unless
We take a stand, and hand in hand we fight for freedom of the
press.
In other words: Smut! I love it.
Ah, the adventures of a slut.
Oh, I'm a market they can't glut.
I don't know what
Compares with smut.
Hip, hip, hooray!
Let's hear it for the Supreme Court!
Don't let them take it away!



--

"I never knew there were corners in time
until I was told to go stand in one"
.....Grace Slick

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